Threadbare complete tr.., p.36
Threadbare - Complete Trilogy, page 36
It was a very good, very lucky thing that he’d long ago turned off the auto-activation of his innocent embrace skill. Otherwise that night might have ended very differently.
But as it was, the lesser vampire spawns relaxed as their master giggled.
Finally, she put him down on a table, and he got a clear look at the words above her head.
Vampire level ???
“So what brings ya ta my neck a the woods?” She grinned, toothily, pulling up a chair. Darla came over and plopped Missus Fluffbear and Beanarella down as well. “And ya brought friends, too? Wow!”
“I’m wondering if you can help me,” The bear said. He pointed at Missus Fluffbear. “She needs to play that card game you played with me. A lot. Also I’m looking for a big, black bobcat. He’s a friend of mine, and I don’t know where he went to. He suddenly ran off.”
“A big bobcat, yah say?” The girl’s face grew guarded, and she shot the bartender a look. “And a friend ah yahs?”
“Yes.”
“Oooh… bahd luck if he’s around heah, then.” She shook her head. “Grimble, why don’t ya explain?” She winked at the bartender, who smiled, covering his mouth for a brief moment as he mouthed the words “Silver Tongue.” Threadbare had no way of knowing that silent activation was a grifter skill, nor would he have known what silver tongue did anyway.
The grifter started his con. “Yes, my friend. I fear our little community is at war, with an evil necromancer! Which is why we were a little alarmed, earlier. Just a brief misunderstanding, haha.”
“Haha,” Threadbare agreed, not knowing why he should, but he did. He had no way of knowing his better-than-average willpower and actually-fairly-decent cool were being deftly suborned by the grifter’s enhanced charisma.
“Her thing, her style if you will, involves cats. Living ones, and when they die, she brings them back. And alas, they always die. So if she has your friend…”
“No!” Threadbare jumped to his feet. “She can’t kill Pulsivar!”
“Ah, yes… her killing Pulsivar. Yes.” Grimble shot a glance at Darla, who hurridly tucked away a cat-fur pouch. “Anyway,” he continued, “we’ve been fighting against her evil ways, but she’s ever so strong, and being a necromancer, we’re weak to some of her attacks. We’ve been trying to enlist the help of our best fighter, but alas, he is cursed. There is a strange spirit to the south, an evil witch who has cursed him so that he cannot join us.”
“Fartunately the witch is strahng enough to resist tha Cat Queen too,” the vampire girl said. “But it’s only a mattah of time till the Cat Queen snares that spirit. Then our best weapon is against us, and a powaful ghost witch is on all our ahssess too.”
“If only someone could go out and kill that ghost witch,” The bartender said, clapping his hands to his chest. “Someone who didn’t have life to be drained away by her shuddering touch, or dead flesh that withered at her grasp…”
“I could do that!” Threadbare said, completely buying into the narrative.
Impressed, the grifter and his master shared a glance. They didn’t even have to offer a quest!
Outside, ears perked on a feline head, and a moth-eaten feline corpse twitched out of its resting spot under a window, and rattled away into the night, eyes of solid blue necromantic energy glowing in the darkness.
The mistress would want to hear about this!
THREADBARE’S CHARACTER SHEET
Name: Threadbare Age: 5
Jobs: Greater Toy Golem Level 10 Cave Bear Level 10 Ruler Level 4 Scout Level 5 Tailor Level 8 Model Level 3 Necromancer Level 1 Duelist Level 3 Animator Level 5 Enchanter Level 1 Golemist Level 2 Smith Level 1
Attributes: Strength: 93 Constitution: 100 Hit Points: 253(283) Armor: 42(51) Intelligence: 80 Wisdom: 113(118) Sanity: 193(228) Mental Fortitude: 32 Dexterity: 70(75) Agility: 75(85) Stamina: 155(200) Endurance: 52 Charisma: 64(89) Willpower: 67 Moxie: 131(186) Cool: 20 Perception: 66 Luck: 60(65) Fortune: 126(161) Fate: 10(15)
Generic Skills Brawling - Level 25 (+5) Climb - Level 13 Clubs and Maces - Level 9 Dagger - Level 9 Dodge - Level 7 Fishing - Level 1 Ride - Level 8 Stealth - Level 9 Swim - Level 2
Greater Toy Golem Skills Adorable - Level 18 Bodyguard - Level 6 Gift of Sapience - Level NA Golem Body - Level 20 Innocent Embrace - Level 11 Magic Resistance -Level 6
Bear Skills Animalistic Interface - NA Claw Swipes - 22 Darkspawn - NA Forage - 13 Growl - 2 Hibernate - 37 Scents and Sensibility - 17 Stubborn - 7 Toughness - 15
Ruler Skills Emboldening Speech - Level 5 Identify Subject - Level 1 Noblesse Oblige - Level 20 Royal Request - Level 1 Simple Decree - Level 1
Scout Skills Alertness - Level 1 Best Route - Level 1 Camouflage - Level 1 Firestarter - Level 4 Keen Eye - Level 1 Sturdy Back - Level 6 Wind’s Whisper - Level 1
Tailor Skills Talioring - Level 38(42) Clean and Press - Level 5 Adjust Outfit - Level 2
Model Skills Dietary Restriction - Level 15 (+30 to all pools) Fascination - Level 3 Flex - Level 13 Self-Esteem - Level 13 Work it Baby - Level 8
Necromancer Skills Assess Corpse - Level 2 Command the Dead - Level 1 Soulstone - Level 1 Speak With Dead -Level 2 Zombies - Level 3
Duelist Skills Challenge - Level 3 Dazzling Entrance - Level 1 Fancy Flourish - Level 6 (11) Guard Stance - Level 8 Weapon Specialist - Level 10 (Brawling +5)
Animator Skills Animus - Level 12 Animus Blade - Level 1 Arm Creation - Level 1 Command Animus - Level 7 Creator’s Guardians - Level 12 Dollseye - Level 1 Eye for Detail - Level 7 Mend - Level 25
Enchanter Skills Appraise - Level 5 Glowgleam - Level 1 Harden - Level 5 Soften - Level 1 Spellstore - Level 1
Golemist Skills Command Golem - Level 1 Golem Animus - Level 2 Invite Golem - Level 2 Toy Golem Construction - Level 2
Smith Skills Refine Ore - Level 1
Equipment Apprentice Tailor’s Apron (+4 Armor, +4 Tailoring) Baggy Pants of Hammerspace (+5 AGL, +5 CHA, Allows hammerspace for one blunt weapon) Poor Quality Bling Ringtail Master’s Coat (+5 CHA, +5 LUCK, +5 Armor, +5 Fate) Rod of Baronly Might (+5 CHA, +5 WIS, +10 Cool) Yellow Belt of Bravado (+5 AGL, +5 DEX, +5 to the Fancy Flourish skill) Toy Top Hat (CHA +10)
Inventory
Assorted Copper and Silver coins Clown Horn Tailor’s Tools 2 Doses of Red Reagent 1 Doses of Yellow Reagent Minorphone (Enhances voice and social skills focused through it twice per day)
Quests Save Celia
Unlocked Jobs Berserker, Cook, Tamer, Wizard
A Paw Full of Undead 2: For a Few Undead More
The vampires were true to their word, and happy to have company that they didn’t either have to eat, run from, or convert. Though Threadbare was ready right away to go and put paid to that evil old ghost witch, they managed to talk him into waiting until daylight.
“She’ll be weakah then,” Madeline said. That was her name, Threadbare had learned a few hours into their three-way game of Grindluck. “Most undead things ah. Us too, but we got tha common sense to stay outah tha sun. Which is why tha Cat Queen only sends her troops around in day.”
The thing upstairs howled again, but they all ignored it, and kept playing their respective card games.
“You should probably be out of the town by then,” Bennett the miller pointed out. “I’m sure you’re pretty tough, but she’s got a lot of skeletons and even a few ghouls and wights.”
“Whites?” Threadbare asked, laying down two reds.
“Nah. Smart undead, with blue glowing ahhs.” Madeline lay down two oranges.
Missus Fluffbear lay down two greens, winning, and happily watching a LUCK +1 flash across her vision.
Madeline ruffled her head, then started sorting through the well-worn deck again, pulling cards to her two-card hand, discarding, and attempting to get two matching colors. “So what happened to yah little gal? She get old and stop playing with toys? Because I may have ta go visit her for a bite if she got that stupid. Toy like you, ya don’t throw away.”
“Oh no, nothing like that,” Threadbare said, drawing and discarding, drawing and discarding. “It turns out her Daddy was her grandfather and her father showed up and took her back. I got impaled in a house that burned down and collapsed and spent five years digging out.”
HONK.
The vampires jumped. Threadbare shook his head. “Oh, sorry. Missus Fluffbear spent five years digging out. I mostly just got myself un-impaled.”
“Woo. When family drahma goes wrong, amirite?” Madeline shook her head. “Sorry about that. So yer free. What ah ya gonna do now?”
“I’m going to find Celia and I’m going to save her.” Threadbare slammed down two purples, the strongest hand in the game. “I might have to fight the king.”
“Well, I don’t know how he figgers inta it, but powah to ya, little bear!” Madeline grinned toothily. “Tha King’s an ahss. Killed tha old one and spent fifteen yeahs runnin’ this kingdom inta tha ground. Look at this place!” She waved her hand around. “He set it all on fyah! Well not him personally, tha soldiers, I mean. They killed everyone they could catch. I saw the fyah and came into town. Even… saved… a few people on tha way.”
“Thanks for that, by the way,” Grimble spoke up. He was back in a corner with the other vampire spawn, playing a much more interesting card game.
“S’aw right. Ya good company, ya know?” Madeline sighed. “Knew it was coming. Soon as tha north folded, and Balmoran fell, all the little revolutionaries and resistance fightahs that had gathered heah were next. But nobody listens to the vampaiah, huh? Now Balmoran’s gone, tha dwarves are next on the chawpin’ blahk, and only tha ranjahs up in Jericho’s Reach ah keepin’ them alive. They’ll be gone too soon, and tha King’ll have total control. Of what’s left ah this land, anyway.”
She riffled the cards, reshuffled them. “Mordecah even dragged me to a few of tha resistance meetings down heah, thinkin’ I might join. Old men and women and young stupids whispering about how they’d smuggle magic items and train up to fight when tha time came. All waiting for a mysterious gal who was tha true heir to turn up an’ lead them. Cowahds, most. Useless.”
“You knew Mordecai?”
“Oh yah. Tried to put the bite on him one night when I caught him wanderin’ around my turf, and wound up pinned to a tree, getting’ a lecture on how I, of all people, should know bettah than to judge by appearances. We came ta terms. I kept people away from one of the approaches to this old guy’s house, and he let me live. Unlive. Whaddeva.”
“I like him. He’s my scouts master.”
“Oh, ya a scout too? Nice! Real weird mix you got going theah.”
“Most of it was accidental.” Threadbare sighed. “I’m still figuring out how to make it all work. There’s so much spread out over so many things.”
“That’s rough, yo.” Madeline said, shooting a glare at the back table, and the other vampires who were rolling their eyes hard at the little bear’s “problem.” The vampire girl shrugged. “I miss him too. Real enlightened about monstahs and all. But now that he’s gone, I’m free to do a few things I’ve been meaning ta do for a while. There’s a dungeon out that way by ma old stompin’ grounds, and I’ll need a core soon. Should be a cakewalk, too. Tha little fuzzy bastiches won’t know what hit’em!”
“What’s a dungeon core?”
“Jeeze, raht, I forgat ya green. It’s… there’s something that powahs dungeons, makes them dungeons. It warps tha land around them, makes the one who controls it and anyone he chooses immortal. Sort of. It makes copies of them, and adventurers come an’ fight tha copies ovah and ovah. It also makes copies of any loot and magic that’s in ‘em, up to a point. Sometimes they need restocking. Hell, sometimes it improves items, even, or changes ‘em.” She shivered.
“Sometimes it changes the monstahs who run them, too. I think that’s what happened to tha Cat Queen. Spent too long as a midboss in a dungeon that closed, and now she wants to go back to tha only thing that makes sense to her.”
“Dungeon cores sound really powerful.”
“They ah, but they have a weakness. There’s always a way to get to the core chambah in any dungeon, into tha place where sanity ends and tha numbahs rule all. Dangerous to get in there, but if you can, you can seal or take ovah tha dungeon. If ya seal it, ya get a core. If ya want one, I mean.”
“So why do you want one?”
“Well…” The little vampire sucked her teeth. “I uh, might have some plans latah. Just got to settle stuff with tha Cat Queen first. So if ya ever find a dungeon core, bring it to me, and I’ll make it warth ya while.”
“Okay,” The little bear agreed. He’d make sure to keep an eye out for anything like that. “Which dungeon was near your place?”
“Oh, this bunch of raccants got tha notion ta put one togethah. Found or got a core somehow, I danno. I’ll go settle theah hash latah.”
“Wait, raccants?” Threadbare put his cards down. “I was up there just-”
“Dawn,” Grimble interrupted.
“Shit. Ah, we’ll have to continue this convo latah, okay?” Madeline said, as the other vampires went around the room, sealing the windows with heavy shutters. “Do me a favah and don’t come back in heah during the day. Night’s okay, but not day. Got that? Do NOT.”
“Yes, I understand.”
“Good. Now take ya friends and scoot. Remember, get clear a town and take out that ghost witch! Then come back tonaht and we’ll tauk more.”
“Absolutely!” Threadbare and company marched out of the door. Grimble shut it behind them, started to bar it.
Knock, knock, knock.
Grimble paused, looked to Madeline, who rubbed her eyes. “Yah?”
“Excuse me, but where is she again?”
One set of directions shouted through a door later, Threadbare lead Missus Fluffbear and Beanarella out of town to the south, down through the hills, into a wooded valley.
Some of the trails and fallen houses to the sides looked familiar. He’d been this way before, he thought.
Eventually, he came to a hollow. Crossing a running stream, he came into a clearing with charred trees, and the remnants of a large, burned hut on a small hill. Rows of gravestones filled the clearing, overturned and shattered, the soil all around them disturbed.
A feeling filled this place, and Missus Fluffbear shivered and honked mournfully. Threadbare felt it too, but he was too busy staring at the new words in front of his face.
A restless spirit wishes to speak!
“Speak With Dead,” Threadbare whispered, readying his scepter for a good witch-thumping.
Your Speak With Dead skill is now level 3!
The sunlight wavered, turned brilliant white. The graves were pale marble now, against the black soil and gray, gray grass. The stark black wood of the burned planks turned to obsidian, and faded from view as faint outlines grew around them, forming the shape of a hut.
“Wait. This is where Mordecai and his family live!” Threadbare gasped. “What happened to it?”
And from the spectral beaded curtain, out swept a green arm, the only speck of color left in the world. “Come in, child. Come in.”
“Zuula!” Threadbare knew that voice. He burst through the curtain, with a really-unsure-about-this Fluffbear on his fuzzy heels.
Inside, the hut was bigger than he remembered, even with shattered, black beams poking through the wispy stuff that made up the beds, the floor, and the rest of the features. In the middle, humming over a white fire, was a familiar green woman with gold, gold eyes. She smiled at him, and cast something in the fire. “Dreadbear! All grown up… and with a little girl. Or a mate?”
“This is Missus Fluffbear. She’s not a little girl or a mate.”
“Then a friend.”
“Oh yes! And there’s Beanarella. She’s just a golem.”
“Oh, dere’s something… yes. Hard to see. It has no soul, so Zuula cannot see so good. Side effect of being dead.”
“You’re dead?”
“Yes.”
“Oh.” Threadbare wasn’t sure what you were supposed to say about that. Celia had spent a lot of time fussing about trying to make sure her friends didn’t die, that she’d infused him with the gravity and horror of it. That and his own skunk murdering ways had drummed in the lesson that people were supposed to try really hard to keep their friends from dying.
He wasn’t sure how you were supposed to feel or what you were supposed to say to someone who was already dead. Sorry didn’t seem to cut it. And other useful pleasantries he’d picked up from listening to small talk like “how’s the weather,” or “how are you feeling” didn’t seem appropriate.
Then a thought occurred to him. “Wait, did the evil ghost witch get you?”
“Ghost witch?” Zuula stared at him with her unblinking eyes. “Only ghost around here be Zuula.”
“Oh. It’s just that the nice vampires in town said-”
“Nice vampires? Nice vampires!” Zuula hissed, and the spectral walls shook. Her hair blazed up around her, whipping to and fro in an unfelt wind. For a second the mask on the wall blazed, opened its ghostly mouth and screamed, red glowing from its mouth and eyes. Missus Fluffbear hid behind Beanarella, and Threadbare stood up from the seat he’d taken, alarmed. “Is no such t’ing! Evil vampires! Filthy bloodsuckers! Stealing Garon! Stealing her son!”
“Wait, what? Please, I’m very confused,” Threadbare said.
Finally, the dead shaman calmed down. “Come to tink of it, so is Zuula. You talking about old woman ghost? She necromancer, not witch.”
“I don’t know, maybe. There’s this crazy cat lady necromancer trying to hurt the nice vampires in town, and a ghost witch who’s making one of them crazy. And I’m supposed to be able to deal with the ghost witch because I’m a necromancer too and I don’t have any flesh for her to wither or life to drain or something.” Come to think of it, he wasn’t so sure about that second part. He didn’t know much about ghosts, or what they could do.
“Wait. You necromancer?” Zuula raised a see-through eyebrow.
“Yes. That’s how I can talk to you like this.”
