Claimed, p.28
Claimed, page 28
As if Dane being in town wasn’t complicated enough, now Leo too had started to act weirdly.
Chapter 32
Dane
I didn’t want to directly go to Sydney’s B&B, because the impression that I got from her the previous night was that she wanted to have nothing to do with me. There was a sexual chemistry there that neither of us could deny, but to her that was the end of the line. I didn’t want to push too hard, or annoy her, but before I left I wanted to see her again.
So, I sat down with a coffee in the al-fresco seating of a small beachside cafe on the promenade and waited, hoping that she might make an appearance at some point. It could have been after at least a few hours, when I finally saw her on the other side of the promenade.
Sydney had a straw hat on today, with a wide black ribbon tied around it. She was in a white lacey dress that was loose and flapped in the breeze. With brown sandals on and her hair blowing in the breeze, she was the most beautiful woman I had ever laid eyes on.
She was walking with a younger girl, who was pushing a stroller. They were talking animatedly, and from time to time, Sydney bent forward and cooed at the baby in the stroller. I’d been watching her for several minutes, before she caught my eye from across the street. I raised my cup of coffee at her, and she stopped right on her tracks.
I saw her lean in and say something to the girl with her, who then walked away with the stroller and Sydney crossed the street, walking towards me.
“You’re still here,” she said, as she approached me with her cheeks slightly flushed. She had dark sunglasses on, which she now pulled away from her face. She didn’t sit, just stood in front of my table as we looked at each other.
“I just arrived yesterday. It would hardly be a vacation if I left already,” I said and she nodded her head.
“That’s right. You’re on a vacation,” she said and I gave out a laugh.
“Yep. Not just here to sleep with you,” I said and she blushed wildly. She quickly drew out a chair and sat down with a thump.
“This has to stop, Dane!” she said through gritted teeth and I couldn’t help but smile at her.
“Of course. Whenever you want, Sydney. It stops now if you want it to,” I said and she was glaring at me, like she was trying to detect the loopholes in what I was saying.
“I really mean it,” she snapped and I nodded my head.
“Understood. I’ll stop. But I can’t stop you if you do something,” I said and she sat back in the chair and folded her arms over her breasts.
“You think you’re sooo irresistible,” she said, slightly cruelly, but I wasn’t affected. I was just glad to be talking to her. She could say anything to me that she wanted to, and nothing would offend me.
“Now, you’re only putting thoughts in my head,” I said with a smile and Sydney looked away from me with a jerk.
“You think you can just come here on vacation, and I’ll just be waiting here, ready with my legs spread wide open,” she said, dragging her words out like she was angry with herself more than with me.
“Sydney,” I said her name purposefully and I sat forward in my chair. “I didn’t come here expecting you to be available,” I added.
“Then why did you come here?” she asked, whipping her head around to look at me.
“I cam here hoping you would be available. There’s a big difference,” I said and she remained looking at me, still suspiciously.
“Well, I just don’t want you to get the wrong impression. That every time you come here I’ll be willing to sleep with you. This is why it has to stop here, now,” she said and I nodded my head.
“I don’t have the wrong impression of you, Sydney. In fact, I believe I have the absolute best impression of you,” I said, still smiling at her. Sydney’s lips were pressed together firmly, she was eyeing me under a watchful gaze, looking for a clue that might give away my true intentions.
“And what impression is that?” she asked me and I took in a deep breath. I was going to have to take a leap of faith here, but what other choice did I have? I had spent the past eighteen months being unhappy, going crazy over this woman…I would be foolish to not give it a shot, before I lost her completely. This was my chance and I wasn’t going to let it slip out of my hands.
“I know that you’ve been thinking about me all these months, the way I’ve been thinking about you,” I said, forcing myself to say the words. The smile from my face had disappeared. I had never faced rejection, even saying these mere words was like laying my heart naked and bare out to her. Sydney now had the power to do with it as she pleased.
She stared at me for a few moments, and then a look of defenselessness came over her face. She dropped her eyes to her lap, her hands were clasped together. She looked nervous and embarrassed. I couldn’t look away from her because I was imagining all the things she could possibly say to me.
When she looked up, her brown eyes were large and her lips were quivering.
“I hadn’t thought about you for a second. I didn’t even remember your face!” she said and got up from her chair with a jerk. I had no time to react, because it felt like I had just been punched in the stomach. Sydney had already run down the road and crossed over to the other side. I could see her white dress flapping in the breeze behind her, as she ran with a hand over her straw hat.
I ran after her.
Chapter 33
Sydney
Dane didn’t catch up with me till I was almost at my front door. I wanted to get away from him, I didn’t want to hear anything more that he had to say. I could feel my fingers trembling as I tried to unlock my front door.
“Sydney, please, stop!” Dane said and he slammed a hand on the door, standing behind me. Even though he wasn’t touching me, I could feel his breath on my hair. I didn’t want to turn around or look at him.
“I know that was a lie. Why are you running away from me?” he said in a soft deep voice that made my skin prickle with goosebumps. I kept my face forward, towards the door, as I tried to even my breathing.
“I’m not running. I’m just trying to put some distance between us,” I said and in a flash, Dane had caught me by my waist and whipped me around. My back pressed against the door as he lowered his face close to me. His breath shook some loose strands of my dark hair, and my eyes searched his face. He was so close to me. Close enough to kiss. But another kiss would only make me fall deeper and deeper for him. And I couldn’t allow that to happen, now that I had a child to think about.
“Are you with someone else, is that what it is? Is it Leo?” he asked through gritted teeth.
“No,” I said shaking my head. I didn’t know why I couldn’t lie to him. Telling him that I was with Leo could have solved a lot of my problems.
“Then what is it? Why do you need to put some distance between us?” he asked, still growling. Dane’s dark eyes were bloodshot, and his usually neatly styled hair was out of place. He was breathing heavily too, just like me.
I remained silent. There was nowhere to begin. How could I even start to explain to him what was going on.
“You think I’m just like your ex…” he said and brought his face even closer to mine. I still said nothing, just glared back at him with narrowed eyes.
“You think I’m just like that man who used you and then threw you away,” he continued and I took in a sharp breath.
“Aren’t you? Just like him,” I asked him and I saw the expression on Dane’s face change. He was so handsome, the features of his face were perfectly aligned and chiseled. The hand that he still had on the door was large and strong. His muscles stretched under the thin fabric of his linen shirt. I knew how powerful his body was. How he could simply lift me up with just one hand, and drive into me with full force. I could feel myself getting wet between my legs. Again!
The fire in Dane’s eyes had diminished and his voice had changed as well.
“You’re right. I am that guy. I’ve used women before for my own pleasure and entertainment, but not you, Sydney,” he said and I turned my face away from him. I couldn’t keep looking at him. That would be my own downfall.
“You think I’m different only because I’m resisting you,” I said meekly, because I was afraid of the grip he had on me. On my mind and heart.
“That isn’t true,” he said and then placed a hooked finger under my chin, to turn my head towards him again.
“I’ve had you, Sydney, and I want more. I feel like I could never get enough of you,” he said and I clenched my jaw. Our eyes were locked together, I couldn’t look away from his eyes any more.
“This is the real world, Dane. You will eventually grow tired of me. Other important things will get in the way. Just like it did for James,” I said and suddenly, abruptly, Dane stepped away from me.
I realized then that I’d been holding my breath all this while. Now that there was some distance between us, I could breathe again.
“So, that is what you think of me. That I’m just like him. Just an asshole,” he said and I remained quiet. That wasn’t what I thought of him, but that was what I feared. And now I had Emilia to think about. Nursing a heartbreak, like the one James had caused me…well, I just didn’t have the time for that. Not when I had Emilia’s wellbeing to think about.
“And do you think Leo is different? He’s a good guy who’ll never disappoint you?” he asked, and the rage had returned to Dane’s voice again.
I had no answer for him.
“I’m not with Leo,” I said to him and he swung his head around to look at me again.
“Yeah, that’s what you say. And yet, you were on a date with him last night,” he said and I jutted my chin out.
“I don’t have to give you an explanation, Dane. All you need to know is that we can’t keep doing this,” I said and he slowly nodded his head.
“Of course. I respect your decision. I was an idiot the first time around, when I left so suddenly. And now I’ve lost my chance,” he said in a softer voice, and I gulped. How was I supposed to tell him that if he’d stayed, he would have found out that I was pregnant? He would have felt obliged towards me because of Emilia. That might have ruined his whole life. It was my fault for not being on the pill. I had no intention of holding him back, or trapping him.
When Dane looked over at me again, our eyes met but neither of us were smiling. So, this was the end, I thought.
Chapter 34
Dane
For the first time in my life, I felt completely helpless. This was not a job I could fix. It wasn’t made up of logic or numbers that I could crunch. What I was feeling was entirely out of my control. This was what rejection felt like and I had no other choice but to step away from Sydney. I wasn’t about to force her into anything. She obviously had her reasons and I didn’t want to challenge her.
“Dane…” she said my name softly, after some minutes of us just standing silently outside the door of her house.
“Yeah, I’ll go,” I said and to my surprise, Sydney stepped towards me.
“I’m glad I met you,” she said it in a near whisper and I stared at her, like she had slapped me across my face.
“Yeah, me too, Sydney,” I said and as an act of self defense, I pushed my hands into the pockets of my pants. Sydney had her hands clasped together as she stood in front of me.
“I wish we had the chance of getting to know each other, and I wish I had the courage to do it…to spend some more time with you,” she said and hung her head. I could see that what she was saying was difficult for her.
“But you’re afraid because you don’t trust me,” I said it flatly and she jerked her head up to look at me. Her eyes were large and she looked like she might burst into tears. I was battling the urge to pull her into my arms and stroke her head. I wanted to feel her cheeks pressed against my chest. I wanted to comfort her, to talk to her…but we were past that now. She had made her decision.
“I’m sorry, Dane. James really messed me up and I can’t go through it again,” she said and I nodded my head.
“I understand. All I want you to know is that I’m not him,” I said and she licked her lips.
“I can’t take the chance. I know I’ll fall hard for you, and I have…I have responsibilities now,” she said.
What responsibilities? I looked up at the B&B behind her and I nodded my head. Of course, the family business. She had no time for a heartbreak.
“I’m not going to make you do something you don’t want to do, Sydney. I just want you to believe that I’ve never felt this way for anyone before,” I said and suddenly she smiled.
“That’s what he said,” she told me softly and I knew there was no going back now. I nodded and hung my head. We stood like that in silence some more, before she stepped towards me. When I was least expecting it, Sydney placed a gentle hand on my arm which made me turn to look at her.
“Goodbye, Dane. Take care,” she said and she lifted herself up on her toes and reached for me. I kissed her, tenderly at first till my hands found her waist. I held her close to myself, and she kissed me passionately. Our tongues collided, our breathing grew heavy. My fingers weaved through her hair, and her nails dug into my shoulder blades. It was going to happen again. We were not going to be able to resist each other.
Sydney pulled away from me, stumbling backwards a little. Her breasts were heaving and her cheeks were flushed. She was glaring at me, while I looked back at her with my mouth open.
“You were right, Sydney. I’m not here on vacation. I came here for you,” I said and then turned around and walked away.
I pressed my eyes close, hoping that she would call out to me, but she didn’t. I heard her open and close the front door of her house and I kept walking. Eyes front, hands in my pockets and with a steady gaze. This wasn’t going to break me. I wanted to give it a shot and I did. Time to move on. I had a job to get back to in New York, pacify Matthew if Piper had ratted on me, and a career to look forward to. Sydney was just a drop in the ocean, and I would forget about her in a few months. Maybe a few years.
From the corner of my eye, I noticed a woman waving at me once I’d reached the promenade. I looked at her and waved back. She was walking her dog, seemed to be in her late twenties and had the longest legs I’d seen for a while. She was in a skimpy bikini top and very short shorts. She was walking towards me now.
“Aren’t you staying at my hotel? The Keystone?” she said with a laugh and I raised my eyebrows.
“You run The Keystone?” I asked her, surprised at the coincidence of another female hotel proprietor.
“No, silly. I’m here on vacation too. Isn’t this place just gorgeous?” she said and looked out at the beach. I gave her a quick once over. Sandy blond hair, well tanned, long legs and blue eyes. No ring on her finger. She was the one to wave to me.
All the boxes I needed to check.
“It’s lovely. Care to accompany me on my walk?” I said and the woman bit down on her lower lip.
“Of course, especially since we’re heading back to the same place,” she said with a knowing look on her face.
“Also, I thought I recognized you and now I’m sure. You’re Dane Forsyth,” she said, just as we started walking together. Her small dog was pulling on the leash.
“I am indeed. Are you from New York?” I asked her and she nodded her head with a wide smile on her face.
“I’m Jane Lebowski. Who would have thought I’d run into New York’s most eligible bachelor in Tramore Beach!” Jane said with a laugh, and I had no choice but to fake a laugh as well.
Chapter 35
Sydney
When I came into the house, Cora was waiting for me with Emilia. I took the baby from her, gave her some cash and politely asked her to leave. I needed some time to myself. Alone with my daughter, so that I could process everything that had happened this morning.
First Leo, and now Dane! I gazed at Emilia’s smiling face as she sat on the carpeted floor, trying to make sense of her new building blocks. I wanted to cry. I wanted to smash a plate or go for a run, but I couldn’t. I had no option but to sit on the couch and watch my daughter play. That was the responsibility that I was talking about. I couldn’t behave like a single twenty-something any more. I had Emilia to think about. I didn’t want to cry in front of her either, and upset her.
I decided to bake instead, just to calm my nerves.
So, the next couple of hours, I spent baking a pecan tart and then some focaccia bread, working tirelessly to knead the dough to the right consistency. Emilia continued to play, sometimes calling out to me and I kept a steady eye on her. This was my life now. Just Em and me. It had no place for a man, and definitely not Dane or Leo.
It was only after I had fed Emilia and put her to bed in her crib, when I finally sat down on the couch in front of the TV with a plate of mac and cheese for myself. Just before I turned the TV on, I heard the bell ring.
Dane! I thought again and before I walked over to the door, I checked in on Emilia to make sure she was still sleeping. I ran back down the stairs and went to the door and opened it without looking through the peephole.
Leo stormed in, soaking wet. It had started to rain outside at some point and I hadn’t even noticed.
“Leo!” I cried, as he barged into the house, dripping rain water all over the wooden flooring. He made his way straight for the kitchen and I followed him.
“What are you doing here? Seriously, you can’t just come into my house without being invited!” I said in a slightly raised voice. I was aware of Emilia sleeping upstairs, but at the same time, I didn’t want Leo to think that he could do what he wanted.
Leo ran a hand through his wet blond hair. I noticed then that his eyes were small and he looked angry. The tip of his nose was red, and he didn’t seem to care about how soaking wet he was.
