Shadowmarked, p.7
ShadowMarked, page 7
“Where does it dock in Cytos?” Jayla asked.
“Underground I think. We found a tunnel outside of the wall to the north, but it’s clearly coming from Cytos,” Em said.
“Have Simon look into it. Tell him we need to know exactly where that train is going,” Jayla ordered.
“Already have.”
“Good.” Jayla nodded. “And what about Kuros? You saw the attack?”
“The remains of it,” Logan said, slumping into a chair. “Wasn’t much left to see. And they sure as hell didn’t want our help.”
“Were you able to radio through to them? Tell them who you were?” Caspian asked.
“We did, and it didn’t help in the least.” Em wrapped a strand of hair around her finger, picking at the ends. “His Royal Highness didn’t want any help from us, or any sort of alliance.”
The King of Kuros hadn’t responded to any messages Jayla had tried to send him for aid. They were safe in their walled-up city. They didn’t need to step outside of that comfort to help us. And seeing as Governor Grayson had closed up Cytos, Kuros had done the same.
Theo shifted to my right. “You need to approach negotiations differently with King Maliki than anyone else. Make him see how it would benefit him, not just asking for his help,” Theo said.
All eyes turned our direction. I looked up at him, my own face scrunched with confusion.
“And how do you suppose we do that?” Jayla asked with an impatient tone.
“He couldn’t care less if we die. He only cares about himself and his family,” Theo explained.
“And?” Jayla waved a hand.
Theo glared. “And his wife is a Carbon.”
“No, she isn’t,” Em dismissed him. “We would know if she was a Carbon.”
“Would you?” Theo crossed his arms. I gave him a look, wondering how the hell he knew all of this, but he ignored me. Pain tightened in my chest. “His first wife was human. She passed away nearly twenty years ago when she was quite young. King Maliki remarried a Carbon woman.”
“And how would they have kept her secret all this time?” Em argued.
“You don’t think it’d be easy for a king to hide something? It’s not that difficult to add a few grey streaks to someone’s hair.”
The room went quiet. Everyone was trying to understand the implications of what Theo was saying, but I was trying to understand how he even knew any of this. Why hadn’t he told me anything? I bit the inside of my cheek, pulling my hand way from his grasp as I crossed my arms. Once again, Theo was keeping things from me, as if he didn’t trust me.
“That would mean the youngest prince was a genetic kid,” Caspian said, breaking the silence.
“Which is why he hasn’t been seen in five years. You can’t hide a genetic kid as easily as you can a Carbon,” Theo countered.
I remembered the rumors of the young prince who’d been away from Kuros for schooling the past five years. Not many believed that was what really happened, but I doubt any suspected the King hid him away so no one knew he was a genetic kid. Still, how Theo knew of any of this didn’t make sense.
“Seeing as you know so much about all this, where is the kid?” Em asked, her glare still fixed on Theo with what I assumed was suspicion.
“I have no idea,” Theo said.
“That means his son’s in danger, too,” I whispered, realizing why Theo was bringing this up.
Theo nodded. “He may be able to keep his wife safe from the virus, likely has her sequestered in their Palace to ensure that, but the prince has been missing for five years, that means he could be anywhere. And with word that genetic kids, Pur or Marked, are being taken, I’d think Maliki would want to know what they put us through in the Void, and that his son could face the same fate if he doesn’t help us stop this.”
Jayla had a wicked smile on her face as she exchanged a look with Em. “Send word to the King of Kuros. See if you can find out anything about the missing prince or if Malaki knows where he is. If he’s with the others, then we might just have our bargaining chip and a way to force an alliance.”
The others scattered to leave, but I pulled Theo back. “How the hell did you know all that?”
He shrugged. “I asked some questions.”
“To whom?”
“It’s nothing for you to worry about, Sienna. I asked for some information and I got it.” Theo wouldn’t look me in the eye and that alone had my throat tightening.
“Asked who?” I demanded.
“I can’t say.”
My mouth gaped open. “We promised to never keep secrets,” I hissed. “Why aren’t you telling me the whole story, Theo?” I couldn’t believe Theo was keeping things from me again. He’d always been honest with me, hadn’t he? Everything felt tight and my chest hurt. This was not like Theo at all.
“I’m sorry. I made a promise not to say anything. I’ll tell you everything when the time is right, but for now, I can’t say.” He reached for my hand, but I pulled back. Hurt filled his face and he sighed. “Just trust me Sienna, please.”
Theo slipped past me, moving to where Jayla and Em were crafting a message for the King of Kuros. As I watched him add in a few words to include in the message, I couldn’t help wondering what was going on, and what would be so important he wouldn’t even tell me. I felt tears burning in the back of my eyes, my chest felt like it was being crushed, and I couldn’t breathe. I trusted him—I’d always trusted him—but now he was keeping things from me. I glanced back one last time before storming out of the room. If he wanted to keep things from me than so be it, I would find out myself.
JAYLA
Another day went by before the King of Kuros responded to our message. All we received in return was, “send your emissary.”
“Send Leanna,” Caspian suggested.
The room was still dark, and the sun was just barely waking up. I’d hardly slept once again, so when my tablet dinged with a message, I read it immediately. Em and I had spent hours questioning Theo, finding out everything he knew and how he knew. I could tell his story was a tightly knit lie, but so far it had all checked out. He’d claimed during his time in the DEZ he’d asked questions to a few instructors willing to share information they likely thought would go nowhere, seeing as they knew the fate of the Marked kids. One of them being a Carbon with a fascination for the royal family let it slip the current queen was Carbon, and Theo had figured out the rest on his own. I trusted that he wanted to keep Sienna safe and find Vic, which meant I trusted his story, even if the reason for how he’d obtained it was a lie.
“Leanna has contacts in Kuros already. She’s been there and knows how to be diplomatic,” Caspian continued.
My brows scrunched. “You trust her?”
Caspian shrugged. “I trust she’ll get the job done if it means her and her brother’s safety.”
I nodded.
We hadn’t spoke about the other day or the fight we’d had, and there was still an unusual tension between us. We’d always been good at moving on after a fight, but this was different. Caspian didn’t stay away, and he didn’t say any more about the panic attack, but I knew he was awake every time I woke from another nightmare. I often wondered if he just watched me sleep, waiting for the moment he’d have to shake me to pull me out of the dream.
“You’ll ask her then,” I stated.
“Sure,” Caspian said, shifting around me and off the bed to pull a shirt over his head. The dim light from a side lamp shone against his warm dark skin, across the scars. “I’m going to check on the night watch, then I’ll swing by and see if she’s awake.”
My gaze was fixed on the floor while my head nodded absently. Caspian stepped in front of me and pulled my chin up to meet his face. His lips pressed softly against mine, and I allowed my eyes to close as I breathed in. He’s alive. He’s here. I always reminded myself of that, every day.
“I’ll be right back,” he whispered against my lips before he was gone.
The minute I opened my eyes to find my room empty, my pulse began to race again. I couldn’t be alone anymore. I couldn’t stand the silence even if I wouldn’t address the reason why. Last time this happened, I ignored it. I’d used physical pain to hide the brokenness inside of me. I hated that it had returned, hated that I hadn’t conquered the one thing holding me back, and I hated that Caspian knew. I threw on my clothes and stalked into the adjoining room where Em was nursing a steaming cup of coffee.
She glanced up as I walked over before pouring me a cup.
“Caspian said we’re sending Leanna?” Em asked.
I nodded. “She’ll be useful there at least.”
“Let’s hope.” Em’s brow rose before taking another sip from her coffee.
“I want you and Logan to take her. Check in on your parents while you’re there,” I said. “I’m sure you can find some way to sneak away.”
Em gave a nod of thanks before we were silent again. She’d managed to get her parents out of Cytos before Governor Grayson completely closed their borders, and they’d been staying with friends in Kuros, but I knew Em wanted to see for herself they were safe.
“When Simon finds out more about that train, what do you have planned?” Em asked. She knew me better than anyone else, and she knew I hadn’t asked Simon for information just so we could know where they were. We had to get those kids back.
“Assuming he can find us a way on it, we’ll be taking a little ride,” I said.
“You think that’s wise, considering the bounty on our heads?”
“Wise? No. But it is necessary.” I looked to my warm cup of coffee, somehow unable to drink any of it. “We’ll only take a few we trust. Find a way in, get the kids out, that’s it.”
“Will you be able to keep it together this time?” Em tilted her head.
I rolled my eyes, locking my jaw to stop the string of words I wanted to say. Instead, I managed to reply, “Yes, I’ll be fine.”
“You do know Caspian tells me everything right? Including your daily nightmares…”
“I don’t need either of your permission to go out there, so if that’s what you’re expecting, you can drop it now. I don’t give a shit if you think I am fine, I know I am,” I managed to get out between clenched teeth. “And Caspian can keep his mouth shut.”
“I don’t need Caspian to know when you’re not right,” Em stated.
“Nobody is right anymore. Nothing about any of this is normal,” I shouted, gesturing to our foreign surroundings. “You think having a few nightmares makes me weak? You think I won’t get the job done when I need to?”
“I think your fear is slowly taking hold, and if it were up to me, you wouldn’t be a part of this right now.”
Her words stung. Something was creeping into my body, speeding up my heartrate and causing my hands to tremble. I shoved them into my lap and glared. “Tell me how you really feel, Em.”
“You’ve always been a cocky shit, Jayla, and I’ve been more than understanding with everything going on and what happened to you, but not anymore. I’m not about to lose my best friend just because you have something to prove.”
“I’m. Fine,” I forced out, sucking in a steadying breath, desperately trying to slow my pulsing heartbeat.
Em tilted her head to the other side, assessing me before she leaned back in her chair and shrugged. “I’ll believe it when I see it.”
The warm air and smell of the ocean in the morning was my one reprieve from the tightness in my chest. I took two deep breaths and found I could breathe for once, even if I knew deep down it wouldn’t last long. For now, it was soothing, something I wasn’t privy to lately it seemed. I’d spent maybe ten minutes alone with my bare feet pressed into the sandy beach watching the waves before I heard footsteps behind me.
“She’ll do it,” Caspian said as he took a seat beside me.
I gave a little nod but didn’t look his way.
“They’ll leave at sunset, to avoid any scouts from Cytos that may be watching us.” Caspian nudged my side, and I finally glanced his way. My cold glare had him flinching back. “What happened?”
“You went and ran your mouth to people about my business,” I seethed. I was aware my words and anger were childish, that I was acting irresponsible and it was dangerous, but I needed to be in control of something and right now anger was all I had.
Caspian rolled his eyes, knowing exactly what I was talking about. “I hardly think Em is ‘people,’ but what was I supposed to say when she asked?”
“Nothing! You weren’t supposed to say anything,” I yelled. “Em might have seen what happened one time, but she didn’t need to know about the nightmares.”
“We don’t lie to each other,” Cas said firmly. “Even if I hadn’t said anything, she’d know. She’s not an idiot, Jayla. We can both see your red eyes. What the lack of sleep is doing. And she saw what happened out there just as I did.”
“I don’t need you two to babysit me.” I stood, hastily grabbing my things and stomping through the thick sand, feeling my lungs once again beginning to restrict and my pulse throbbing in my ears.
Caspian caught up to me in two strides. “Stop acting like we’re the bad guys, Jayla. We’re trying to help you.”
“I don’t need your help,” I spat. Lie. I did need him, I’d always needed him, yet admitting that felt impossible, it felt weak. I’d done it before, but then Caspian had been taken from me, and I didn’t know what to do without him. If I told him the truth, that he was the only one I needed, how would I live if I lost him again? How would I possibly survive alone if I couldn’t do it now? My lungs burned, and my throat felt raw as I turned to meet Caspian’s eyes, his face filled with worry.
“Then why are you still here?” Caspian asked, stopping a foot away from me. He crossed his arms over his chest. “Why even involve any one of us if you can do everything all on your own?”
“That’s not what I meant.”
“Oh, you meant you can get over this shit on your own?” Caspian scoffed, looking me up and down. “Looks like you’re doing a good job of that.”
“I just don’t need the two of you analyzing everything I say or do. People have nightmares. People lose sleep and they still function. Why am I any different?” Why was I any different? Despite trying to sound confident, I didn’t know the answer.
“Because I was there the first time you went through this,” Caspian said. “And you sure as hell didn’t know how to get out of that mess on your own then.”
“This is different,” I whispered.
“Is it?”
“Yes, it is,” I said. “I’m stronger than I was back then.”
“So why does it feel the same?” Caspian countered; his eyebrows lifted as he waited for my answer.
I swallowed. My gaze fell on the sand at my feet and I didn’t respond. It should have been different this time, because I was stronger, I was capable, yet I was still failing. That was the problem, that was the reason it had crept in unexpectedly and wouldn’t leave. When my mom died, in the end I knew there was nothing I could have done to stop it. But with Caspian, with everyone I cared about, I was capable of protecting them, yet still I was failing.
“Don’t let it in, Jayla—the fear. If you claim it’s different, then let me help this time.” Caspian’s voice was softer, soothing. “I stood by last time, but I won’t do that again.”
I opened my mouth, wanting to tell him he was right, that I did need him—I’d always needed him, but nothing came out. I stared at him, at the scars snaking up his neck. At the worry in his eyes and rather than soothing me, it caused the fear inside to ignite. I couldn’t lose him again, and if I didn’t get my shit together, I just might be the cause of it. But admitting the truth would allow him closer, and then he’d have me to worry about alongside himself. I had to be strong. I had to figure this out.
I lifted my chin, ready to reply when a blaring siren rang in the distance. Before I got another word out, we were both sprinting back toward the Palace.
Jacob was at the front, waving people in.
“What is it? Another attack?” I yelled over the siren.
Jacob shook his head. “No, a sandstorm is coming. We all have to take shelter.” He pulled me into the Palace tent and I followed the others, Caspian right behind me, his hand pressed against my back. Outside, the winds began to howl, and the subtle ting of sand crystals hitting the thick canvas tents began.
“We’ll be fine in here, but it could last a few hours,” Jacob said.
Caspian and I walked in silence back to our quarters. A tightness filled my chest and it wouldn’t ease. I had to beat this. I had to win.
CASPIAN
Four hours later, the sandstorm was still in full force. Even with the tents covering us, I could taste the sand in my mouth. It was everywhere. Between the winds and the hammering sand, I had to yell just to hear myself.
“I doubt we’ll be heading out today,” I said to the group gathered in our shared living room.
Logan and Em lounged on the couch while Jayla sat at the table in the back. She hadn’t said a word to me since we’d returned. It didn’t change anything: I told her I wouldn’t leave her and I meant it. She could be pissed at me all she wanted, but I would stick by her side no matter what. That’s what we did; we watched each other’s back, even when the other didn’t ask for it.
“I’ll send a message to Kuros. Hopefully, this storm eases up soon,” Em said, taking her tablet to type out a message.
“I’ll let Leanna know,” I said, moving to leave the room. Jayla didn’t even glance up from the map sprawled before her.
With a sigh, I stepped into the interior hallways connecting the Palace. It was much quieter there. The winds howled over the roof, but the walls were protected by rooms on either side.
I rounded the corner where I found Sienna pressed against the wall with her ears inclined around another corner. Slowly, I walked up to her, trying to pick out the voices I could just barely hear in the distance.
“I trust you’ll be discrete about this?” Theo said from somewhere around the corner.
