Shadowmarked, p.9
ShadowMarked, page 9
“Begin test number eight-seven,” a robotic voice sounded through the room.
A nearly silent ringing sounded in the room. It was mildly annoying to my ears, but Vic immediately clamped her hands over her ears and began screaming.
“What are you doing to her?” I banged on the window I knew Allard stood behind, though I could only see my own reflection on this side. “Stop!”
“Tell Victoria who you were with in the forest.” Dr. Allard’s voice sounded through the room. “Tell her who you left behind.”
My palms were sweaty. I glanced back to Vic who had stopped screaming and was watching me. Her hands were still clamped over her ears, but it seemed she could hear Allard despite that.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said.
“Sure you do. I think Victoria would be interested to know who you betrayed so that you would live.” Dr. Allard’s tone was cruel with delight. “Tell her.” The ringing in the room seemed to intensify. Even my hearing picked out the annoyingly high pitch. Vic began screaming again.
“Okay, okay. I’ll tell her!” I screamed.
The ringing dampened but didn’t stop. I took a step forward to Vic. Her eyes were watching me. I think it was the first time she really looked at me, really noticed me. Her eyes were bright silver and shone with wetness threatening to spill down her smooth caramel cheeks.
“I didn’t mean to betray them. I was weak—stupid. I had to know who my parents were… and they promised me information. I planned to go back for them, to find a way to get them out,” I said. Vic’s eyes narrowed as she listened.
“Say their names,” Allard demanded.
I shook my head. I didn’t know why, but I didn’t want her to know. I was ashamed of what I’d done, and right now it was my secret alone. I didn’t want her to know about it.
“Say them!”
“Sienna,” I yelled. “And Theo. I was with them and I betrayed them.”
Vic’s hands dropped to her side. Her mouth hung open and her shoulders trembled. But her eyes… Her eyes had turned entirely black.
I stepped back. “What’s happening?”
Vic took a step towards me. Her hands curled at her side. Her shoulders stopped trembling, and her entire body was tense and poised to attack. I backed up farther, running into the windowed wall.
“Vic, I’m sorry. I-I didn’t mean to,” I stammered.
She inched closer. Her hands flexed and they rose before the subtle ringing sound stopped, and Vic fell to her knees again. I cautiously knelt in front of her, and when she glanced up through strands of curly dark hair, her eyes were back to silver, but they flowed with tears.
“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I reached to help her up, but she pushed herself back and away from me. She hugged her arms around her body.
The door to the room opened, and a guard pulled Vic out. Then Dr. Allard walked in with a smug smile on his face.
“What was that? What did you do to her?” I asked.
“I hardly did anything.” Allard shrugged. I noticed in his hand the dome-shaped artifact I’d found for them. “This little thing did all that… well, most of it. It seems to only work when the subject is compliant—angry. Most find the noise alone to be enough, but young Victoria can withstand a lot more than the others.”
“I don’t understand. How can that thing make her look like that?” I asked.
“It’s not the artifact doing that bit—that’s the serum.”
My heart stopped. “The Reek serum you put in us?”
Allard nodded. “The others have received additional doses that you’ve been exempt from, for some reason… but it’s not activated until the rage takes over. And this thing does the job well.”
“Why would you be trying to make more Reeks?” I asked.
“We’re not,” Allard said, his tone sharp. “We’re creating an army far stronger than the Reeks. We’re creating something to defeat them.”
“You’ve tried this before, with us, why would this be any different?”
Allard smiled, and it set my pulse racing. “Oh, you just wait and see.”
I swallowed. A guard stepped into the room and pressed a hand to my back to walk, but I twisted away and turned back to Allard. “I want to room with Vic.”
Allard’s brow scrunched. “After what you just saw?”
“Yes.” I nodded. I had to get back with her if I wanted a way out of here. Caspian and the others would come for her, he’d made a promise, and if I was at her side, I could get out of here, too. But besides all of that, I wanted to explain to her why I’d done it. If there even was an explanation, but I had to try.
“What makes you think you can make demands?” Allard asked.
I took a step forward. “Like you said, I’m different, and I’ve got information I’m sure you’d love to hear.”
Dr. Allard smirked. I knew what he’d be willing to trade for. “Fine. Take him to her room,” he said to the guard. Then he turned to me. “But don’t say I didn’t warn you.”
I let the guard lead me towards Vic’s room, but a small amount of dread was seeping in. I had no idea what I was getting myself into.
JAYLA
The storm finally ceased by mid-morning. Leanna, Logan, Petra, and Em were on their way to Kuros while Caspian had offered to help Tynan, Theo, and Sienna with the Marked kids’ training. I’d told Caspian I needed a little time off, to rest, and he’d happily left me alone. I only had the slightest bit of guilt lying to him.
I waited for ten minutes to make sure he was gone before I quickly got dressed. My hand shook while I loaded my gun and secured the belt around my waist. This routine was familiar, and yet it felt so foreign right now.
Despite my body still trembling and my heart pounding against my chest, I stepped out of the hallway and made my way to where I told Jacob I’d meet him. I would face my fears head on.
“Ready?” Jacob asked from inside the shuttle waiting for me on the north side of the Palace when I arrived.
I took a deep breath and climbed in. “Ready.”
The shuttle took off with a whoosh, leaving a cloud of sand in its wake. I closed my eyes for a moment before I felt the shuttle level off and move north.
Jacob watched me. “Care to explain why you’re coming alone? And why I had to keep this trip secret?”
“No,” I said flatly. I knew how to fake confidence and get my way, I’d been doing it for so long now, but still I kept my gaze out the window to avoid Jacob’s stare.
Jacob chuckled. “Fair enough.”
We’d gotten a report from one of our scouts that the sandstorm had pushed a few lone Reeks close to a village outside of Eres. There weren’t many of them, and I figured now was as good of a time as any to see what would happen when I faced them again. I’d never panicked before like I did the other day, and I hoped it was a one time thing only.
My temple throbbed, and I closed my eyes again, feeling my blood pounding through my veins, sending a flash of heat through my body. My hands began to shake, and I squeezed them between my legs. This could all go horribly wrong, I could die out there, but I needed to get my shit together or it wouldn’t matter if it happened today or tomorrow. I wouldn’t be a liability any longer.
“Just breath,” Jacob said softly.
My eyes flashed open. He sat across the shuttle from me wearing his usual sand-colored cloak and a strap over his shoulders holding weapons and a bow. His gaze was soft and assessing, but not filled with any condemnation or judgment. The pilot was the only other person in the shuttle, and he sat far enough away he couldn’t hear our conversation.
“The first time I was asked to take a life, I threw up. The second time my hands shook so badly it took four bullets just to hit my target.” Jacob smiled, his posture easy and calm. My breath still pressed hard against my chest. “I thought it would get easier, I thought I’d become immune to all this… and I did for some time. There are days when pulling the trigger is as easy as turning a light switch on. But other times, I have trouble not seeing someone I love in the thing I am asked to destroy.”
I focused on his words, feeling the connection in them to what was happening to me. His voice was smooth and calming, and his breaths—slow and steady—began to even my own ragged breaths out.
“Our city’s motto is ‘peace in, peace out,’ but that doesn’t just apply to what we do as Sweepers. We embody the phrase.” Jacob took a deep breath in, his chest filling up. Then he let the breath out slow and long. “To do what we do, day in and day out, we must find a peace in ourselves that we can focus our energy on. A peace that moves through us like a spiritual being, calming our hearts, calming the mind. It comes first with our breath.”
I found myself mimicking his breaths, slow and controlled. He took deliberate gulps of air, letting his chest rise and fall with each one, and I followed along. My heart rate began to slow, relax.
The shuttle shifted and began lowering. My eyes bounced out the window, to the open desert around us and the village not too far from where we were to land. I couldn’t see the Reeks yet, but I knew they were there, and a part of me wanted to hide.
“Think of nothing else but your breaths,” Jacob instructed. I glanced back to him. “Peace in, peace out.”
I nodded.
The shuttle came to a halt, touching down on the soft sand with a little thud. We waited for the engines to stop before we opened the side door and Jacob stepped out. I followed.
The sun was hot and beaming down on us. In the distance, a small village waved in the heat like a mirage, blurring the buildings and people watching from afar. If they knew the enemy was so close to their homes, they didn’t run from it as I wanted to, though I suspected they had no idea the Reeks were so close.
Jacob pressed a hand to my back and pushed me in the other direction, away from the village, and toward the three black creatures sprinting through the sand straight for us.
I flinched back.
“Breathe,” Jacob said softly.
I took a long breath in and pulled out my gun. For a moment, my hand shook, but I let the long breath out and my hand steadied. “If I can’t –”
“You’ll be fine,” Jacob assured me, taking a few steps back.
My chest tightened and an urge to flee welled up inside of me, but I took a step forward. Then another. And another.
My arms lifted, and I aimed my gun at the closest Reek.
“Breathe.”
Another breath and I squeezed the trigger. The bullet hit the Reek in its leg and caused it to stumble, but not stop its pursuit. I released two more bullets before the monster dropped. The next came at me from the right. It was closer this time, and it took everything in me not to bolt, but I pushed myself forward. I took one step, then another, until I was running towards it. My bullets lodged in its skull, and it dropped soundlessly to the sand.
This feeling of freedom was both exhilarating and familiar. The warm breeze pushed my hair back, and I filled my lungs once again. Mid-stride I returned my gun to its holster and pulled out my knives. I wouldn’t get over this fear of them if I didn’t face them head on. The last Reek barreled down on me, and I didn’t slow my pursuit.
The first blade slid clean through the arm the Reek reached out for me. The second opened up its midsection. I spun around, sand and black blood flying through the air around me. My knife drove into the back of the Reek’s skull with a satisfying thud, and it fell face first to the sand.
I stood over its body, my breath panting, but not from fear or panic, from excitement—the thrill I longed for. Jacob walked towards me, his long, braided hair flowing behind him and his robes making him nearly invisible. If he’d lifted the hood over his head as he’d done the first time I met him, I wouldn’t have seen him at all. He wore a smile on his face. He pulled the dagger out of the Reek’s skull and wiped the black blood off with a cloth from inside his robe before passing it back to me.
“Focus on this.” Jacob pointed to his chest. “On why you became a Watcher and the feeling you have right now.”
“Thank you,” I said. My voice was raw and quiet.
“You’re strong, and you’re fierce… but most of all, you care. And that is what makes you who you are, but our greatest strengths can also be our weakness. The cycle will not stop. Some days it will be your strength while other times it will make you weak, but that doesn’t change who you are. Remember that.”
“I will,” I whispered. And though I knew I had conquered my fear today, I also knew it wasn’t over. That panic could come back at any time, but if I just breathed, I could get through it.
I returned to find Caspian sitting on our bed waiting for me.
“I thought you might be hungry.” Caspian nodded to the tray of food at the foot of the bed.
I could see the concern in his face. It was there so often these days I wondered if it’d ever go away. I knew I should have told him where I went, but I needed to do this for myself first.
I removed my gun belt, letting it fall to the ground with a soft thud. Then I slipped out of my jacket. A weight had been lifted off me today. Not completely, it may never be entirely gone, but it was like taking a deep breath of air after being submerged under water for so long. I kicked off my boots before I walked over to Caspian and lowered myself onto his lap, my knees on either side of him so my face was close to his. His hands slid around my waist. It’d been too long since we’d been this close. I didn’t deserve him, but I needed him. His fingertips skimmed under the hem of my shirt while he studied my face.
“I do need your help,” I whispered. He swallowed, waiting. “And to admit that is terrifying but I do. I can’t do this on my own.”
“I’ll always be here for you.”
“I know.” I closed my eyes. “Today, I was reminded of why I became a Watcher. I want to help others, to do something. A part of me forgot that I’d never done this on my own, and I haven’t saved anyone by myself. I’ve always had help.”
Caspian pushed away a strand of my hair, tucking it behind my ear. His hand brushed against my neck and down my arm. My fingers moved across the small scar at his neck, skimming down and across his collarbone until they joined the marred skin of his arm, burned when he risked his own life so Em and I could escape the Void. It would always be a constant reminder of what had happened to him, what could still happen to him, but for once I could look at it—feel it—without fear snaking in.
“I’m sorry,” I whispered.
“You never have to apologize to me,” Caspian said firmly. “Never.”
I gave a weak smile, and he quickly pressed his lips against my mouth, pulling my body closer. My arms wrapped around his neck, and I let out a soft moan against his lips. His hips pressed against mine.
The longing and need to feel every inch of his body overwhelmed me. I’d nearly lost him, and because of that I’d almost pushed him away, so I wouldn’t feel the terror ever again, but it had been so foolish. It had been a long time since my mind allowed me a moment of peace, and I wouldn’t waste it, because nothing was ever a guarantee, and I couldn’t let myself regret anything ever again. He was here. His heartbeat pounding under my hand and his skin hot and strong under my fingertips grounded me in this moment. I wasn’t thinking about tomorrow or how the chances we won this war were so slim. All I was thinking about was him. His lips, his skin, his mouth.
I leaned back. “You were right,” I said. His brow arched. “I am hungry.” A devilish grin spread across my face as I pushed him back onto the bed.
CASPIAN
Simon sent word a few hours later he found a way to get us to the genetic kids, but he wouldn’t say anything over the Link or in message, so we left Eres the next morning before the sun had fully risen. Tynan and Jacob would continue to train the Marked kids, and we had promised to return within the week.
Jayla sat across from me in the small shuttle Logan flew. I could still taste her lips on my mouth. We’d spent the night in each other’s arms, and she hadn’t stirred or woken to a nightmare for the first time since I’d returned from the Void. I leaned forward and gave her hand a little squeeze.
“You okay?” I asked.
She smiled, a true smile for the first time in weeks. “I’m okay.”
Theo and Sienna sat at the back of the shuttle, an unusual distance between the two. I suspected it stemmed from whatever Sienna overheard Theo and Leanna talking about. I hadn’t had a chance to talk to Sienna since.
The shuttle paused before it slowly lowered, landing just outside of Cytos on the northern border. There we found a tall ladder propped up against the wall for us to climb over. We were ensured any security bots or guards would be gone from the area when we arrived, and Gustov and his men of the North hadn’t lied.
“Welcome home,” Gustov said as my feet hit the ground on the other side of the wall surrounding Cytos. “I don’t think we’ve officially met.”
“Caspian, this is Gustov. Gustov, Caspian.” Simon waved an impatient hand between us. “Can we just get going?”
Em was the last to climb over. Her long, ash-blonde hair slid down her back, and she’d chosen to wear the usual black attire all Watchers preferred, even if we didn’t know if we could call ourselves Watchers anymore. She paused with one leg over the tall wall, watching as Logan piloted the shuttle back to Eres, before climbing down the other side.
“Lead the way,” Jayla said when we had all gathered.
The place felt darker somehow, and not because it was night. The streets were empty, and you couldn’t see any glowing lights from downtown as there once was. It was cold, winter just beginning. In a few months, the worst of it would hit. Only a small layer of snow settled lightly over everything, which would likely melt at the first sign of sun. But the cold was bone chilling compared to Eres. A soft wind and the light blowing of snow was all the city held.
Simon walked a few feet away from me, and instantly guilt churned in my stomach at the sight of him. I could see he was in pain, that he mourned Reyes and wished to find Gunner. It was my fault; I had taken Reyes’s life. If I’d held on just a little longer, she might still be alive, but there was nothing I could do about it now.
